March 4, 2010

Validation

1950s Housewife...


I know most likely I have ran this subject into the ground and I hope that you arent tired of hearing it.I guess I need to remind myself alot of my choices in life and what they mean.
I feel my choices are very odd for many in this culture. Heck, they are even odd for my family. I have very little examples of stay at home mom's within my family. By in large the women that are able to physically in my family all are employeed outside the home.
I am always battling myself wondering if I should do "more" than be a mom and a homemaker. I feel pressured to do more by society who tells me through many different ways that the choices I have made have wasted my abilities and are not living up to what I could have if I only reached outside the home to find another type of life.

However, in some ways I feel being a homemaker and all that entails is the hardest job you can have. It would honeslty seem easier to me to work, and than put the care of the house and children onto other people even if that really is my place to do.

I am reading a book right now by Nancy Leigh Demoss. Now I dont agree with everything in this book, however there is a part that I really agreeded with and wanted to share with you.
Its from the book Lies women believe and the truth that sets them free.

Here is a common lie that us as women believe more often than not.
"A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife & mother"

This is a lie, but its been taught to us from childhood. I know at least in my case my mom was a single mom and had to work. I wouldnt have known what it was like to have my mom around once I got home from school.

Part of the feminist movement really hurt us mom's that do want to be homemakers and moms. We are told we are wrong. Dumb, not living up to our potential, oppressed, a slave, you name it society has tried to teach us this. With so many women leaving the home and going to work now our society is to the point where even when women dont want to work they feel they must just to make ends meet. However, if you can stay at home and want to, than something must be wrong with you. I mean come on you are really happy to keep up your house and be involved in what your kids are doing? thats just crazy!! thats what we are told...however this type of society that we are currently living in has now created
(this is from the book-the result of the way our society is)
.pressure placed on women by their peers to "do more" than be "just a wife & mother"
.the status of a "homemaker"being devalued to something less than that of a serf.
.millions of infants & toddlers being dropped off at day care centers before daylight and picked up after dark.
.millions of children coming home from school to empty houses or being relegated to after-school child care programs
.mothers giving their best energy and time to persons other than their husbands and children, leaving those women perpetually exhausted & edgy.
.families that seldom sit down and have a meal together
.children subsisting on frozen dinners & fast food eaten on the run
.women who dont have time or energy to cultivate a close relationship with their children and who end up permanently estranged from their grown children.
.inadequately supervised children becoming exposed to all kinds of things ...drugs, alcohol, etc.
. elderly parents having to be placed in institutions b/c their daughters and daughters-in-law are working full time and cant manage their care.


Our purpose as women as created by God is to be a help mate to our husband and to manage our homes in a way that we will lead to well adjusted children who want to learn to serve the Lord.

1Tim 5:9-10
"No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she...has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.

Notice there is not a place that says looks out for self, and puts our feelings in front of others, and does what makes us happy. it says we are help mates and givers. that is the place of mom and mother.

The scripture is clear that a married women's life ministry are to be centered in her home. (it is not wrong for a woman to work outside of the home unless that job (or hobby or whatever) competes with or diminishes her effectiveness in fulfilling her primary calling at home.

So we are serving our family and our Lord and being within the purpose we were created for in all these ways:
.with every meal we prepare
.every load of dirty clothes washed
.every trip made to the grocery store, to school, to dentist, to soccer, and piano, and the shoe store
.every scraped knee we bandage
.every encouraging word we speak
.every dispute we arbitrate
.every moment we spend building legos, coloring, helping with homework, reading a story, or listening to our husbands and children describe their day
.every moment we spend interceding for the spiritual growth & protection of our families.


Seems to me I might have been born in the wrong point in history, I think I would have fit the 50's housewife more easily that I fit in society today but oh well, it is what it is. I will just resolve to be different!!!!


1 comment:

HomeSpun Threads said...

You do post on this often...I'm not sure if you are struggling with this but don't. I told James the other day that I'm getting this degree and then I'll probably want to stay home. :) If you want to go to school or learn a trade or anything, do it for you and not for society. If you don't, don't sweat it. I think you do have the hardest job and you are very committed to them. I think that my worry is, if I do stay at home, what will I do when they leave the nest. Right now, I feel like I'm losing precious time with my kids and really don't want to go to school, but I've started and I'll finish and then we'll see what God has planned then. I'd like to work, just to allow James to be able to leave his work and pursue his dreams too, he isn't really where he wants to be. But is there for us. Every family is different and you shouldn't feel like you need to be validated as long as you are being fulfilled too.